Re-usable packaging

I'm a big fan of recycling, but it strikes me that we've allowed the un-acceptable to become acceptable. Why? Well, I'm glad you asked ...

I recently finished a box of breakfast cereal, and this meant that the sensible thing to do was to recycle the box, and the transparent bag within. Sensible? Probably not. Why recycle when you could re-use. After all, the purpose of the box is, is, is... well I'm not quite sure. I suspect it's to make the bags of cereal within stack nicely during transport. So, I feel the sensible thing to do would be to take my box right back to the supermarket, get another bag of cereal, and place it in my existing box.

This probably applies to many things, not just breakfast cereal. for example, I'm quite partial to pickled beetroot, and when I finish a jar I'm left with a perfectly re-usuable jar, perfectly empty, and perfectly capable of being immediately refilled with new pickled beetroot. However, the 'sensible' and 'encouraged' response it to take the jar and get my house-keeper (*) to place it somewhere that the munipality can collect it in a big truck, transport it somewhere else so that it can be sorted, melted down into glass and turned into a jar. But it was already a jar! See, why recycle when you can re-use.

(*) God bless you lupee!

GM Fish

It's not a secret that I made my first million via Genetic Modification (GM), and let me tell you, myself and Dr. Mrs. Irrational lead a very cosmopolitan life because of that. However, it strikes me that one challenge we need to solve is the presence of bones within fish. Really, they cause nothing but trouble.

Whilst dining in a very fashionable Seafood restaurant, I was tucking into my favourite dish of Turbot with a beetroot glaze when I found myself choking on a bone. Thankfully I was able to recover without manual intervention, but my meal was ruined. After that I poked at my Turbot, searching for hidden bones. By the time I was only a quarter of the way through my fillet it was cold, Dr. Mrs. Irrational was ordering dessert, and the waiter was beginning to think my amateur surgery antics quite strange.

So, isn't it time the boffins solved the real problems of life, and set about creating a breed of boneless fish? I don't think a boney skeleton is terribly important to living a healthy life as a fish, so I think the piscine effect will be minimal. After all, Jelly-Fish and Shrimp seem to lead healthy and full lives.

The Paralun

It's recently struck me that there's a gap in the market here, and filling it could bring me closer to my second million. The idea is simple: to create and sell the paralun!

Now, I hear you cry, what's a paralun? Well, I'm glad you asked, it's like a parasol, but it protects you from the moon rather than the sun.

Why might you want to be protected from the moon?

1) You're a werewolf.

Imagine you're on a date, you're heading back to your place, but there's a full moon. Next thing you know, you awaken in a dark alley, surrounded by the remnants of your date. Clearly, this plays havoc with your social life, if only you had something to protect you from the moon...

2) You're a lunatic.

Ever heard the phrase 'barking mad'?  It's really derived from mental instability associated with barking at the moon (#). Clearly, the moon is the cause, or at least a trigger of insanity. Perhaps this relates to why the murder rate increases three-fold when there is a full moon (*).
If only there was something to protect the vulnerable from the moon...

3) You're fearful of gravity.

We're all taught that the tides are caused by the gravitational pull of the moon. Now, if the moon can have such an effect on something as vast and powerful as an ocean, what is it doing to us??? We are after all, comprised of greater than 70% water. If only there was a way to protect yourself from the moon...

Well, remember where you heard about it first. The paralun is such a good idea it's a crime that I haven't invented it sooner.

(#) Surely that should be the other way around? - Ed
(*) I guess this could also be related to werewolves?

At the time of writing, Google seems unware of the word 'paralun', I therefore claim it as my own!